The Kiss
by BAFan
Summary: A tweaking of the chapter "Monster" in Eclipse.


**THE KISS**

**DISCLAIMER: The **_**Twilight**_** books belong to Stephenie Meyer; Little, Brown and Company; and Summit. Not me, unfortunately. *sigh***

**A/N: As always, much of the original text remains, and I hope the small changes I made were enough to make it worth reading. This takes place the morning after Jacob saved Bella from freezing by getting in the sleeping bag with her, while Edward could only watch helplessly from the far side of the tent.**

**A/N 2: And that reminds me . . . Alice had foreseen the storm. Why didn't **_**someone**_** think to include a heater or something for Bella in the camping gear? I'm sure Newton's Outfitters had a good selection! Sheesh.**

x-x-x-x-x-x

It was still cold, though not nearly as bad as it had been last night. I curled my arms around my chest.

"Here," Edward said, calm again. He took the parka off the floor and wrapped it over the top of my coat.

"That's Jacob's," I objected.

"Jacob has a fur coat," Edward hinted, glancing at him.

"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind." Jacob ignored him, sliding back into the down bag. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."

"It was your idea," Edward said impassively.

Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent, just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up."

Edward's face was too blank; he was in tight control of his expression. I winced, wondering what might have come out of my mouth during my sleep. The possibilities were horrifying.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Edward murmured.

Jacob's dark eyes fluttered open. "Didn't _you_ have a nice night, then?" he asked, smirking.

"It wasn't the worst night of my life."

"Did it make the top ten?" Jacob asked with perverse enjoyment.

"Possibly."

Jacob closed his eyes, with that smug smile that always made the palm of my hand itch to smack it off his face.

"But," Edward went on, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the _best_ nights of my life. Dream about that, Jacob Black."

Jacob's eyes opened into a glare. He sat up stiffly, his shoulders tense. "You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."

"I couldn't agree more," Edward murmured, silkily. I gave him a look, which of course he ignored.

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then." Jacob made a face. "I need to talk to Sam anyway." He rolled to his knees and grabbed the tent door's zipper.

Pain ran down my spine and lodged in my stomach as I abruptly realized that this could be the last time I would see him. He was going back to Sam, back to fight the horde of bloodthirsty newborn vampires.

"Jake , wait – " I reached after him, but he stepped away before my hand could reach him. "Won't you stay? Please?"

"No." The word was hard and cold.

My face must have betrayed my pain, because his expression softened. "Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am."

He forced a laugh. " Besides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place? Have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right." He snorted.

"Be careful – " I pleaded.

He shoved out of the tent before I could finish. "Give it a freakin' rest, Bella," I heard him mutter as he re-zipped the door.

I listened for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but it was perfectly still. No more wind. I could hear morning birdsong far away on the mountain, and nothing else. Jacob moved in silence now, toward the clearing and the forthcoming battle.

I huddled in my coats, and leaned against Edward's shoulder. We were quiet for a long time.

"How much longer?" I asked at last.

"Alice just told Sam it should be an hour or so," Edward said, soft and bleak.

"We stay together. No matter what." Just the thought of Edward being out of my sight, with who knew what happening to him, made my heart pound with anxiety. Unknowing, I clutched at his sleeve.

"No matter what," he agreed, his eyes tight.

"I know," I said, guilt washing over me. "I'm terrified for them too."

"They know how to handle themselves," Edward assured me, purposely making his voice light. "I just hate missing all the fun."

Again with the _fun._ Just like Jacob. My nostrils flared.

He put his arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry," he urged, and then he kissed my forehead.

As if there were any way to avoid that. "Sure, sure."

"Do you want me to distract you?" he breathed, running his cold fingers along my cheekbone and shifting to turn toward me.

I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty.

"Maybe not right now," he answered himself, pulling his hand away. "Sorry, love; it was a bad idea."

"There _are_ other ways to distract me," I told him drily. "Believe it or not."

His eyes crinkled with amusement. "What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights," I suggested. "I'm curious."

He laughed. "Try to guess."

I shook my head. "There are too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."

"Really?" I was pleased – but also surprised.

"Yes, really – and by quite a wide margin, too," he assured me, and stroked my cheek again. "Never doubt that, love."

I thought for a minute. "I can only think of mine," I admitted.

"They might be the same," he encouraged.

"Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed with me."

"Yes, that's one of mine too. Of course, you were asleep for my favorite part."

"That's right," I remembered. "I was talking that night, too."

My face got hot as I wondered again what I might have said last night while sleeping in Jacob's arms. I couldn't remember what I'd dreamed about – or if I'd dreamed at all – so that was no help.

"What did I say last night?" I whispered.

He shrugged instead of answering, and I winced. "That bad?"

"Nothing too horrible," he sighed, but his eyes were tight.

"Then tell me, please." I put my hand over his, ignoring the chill of his skin.

"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."

"That's not bad," I said cautiously.

"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob.' " I could hear the pain, even in a whisper. "Your Jacob enjoyed _that_ quite a lot."

I stretched my neck up, straining to reach my lips to the edge of his jaw. I couldn't see into his eyes; he was staring up at the ceiling of the tent.

"Sorry," I murmured. "That's just the way I differentiate."

"Differentiate?"

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like, who's my best friend, and the one who annoys the hell out of me," I explained.

"That actually makes a lot of sense." He sounded slightly mollified. "Tell me another favorite night."

"Flying home from Italy."

He frowned. "Really?"

"Is that not one of yours?" I wondered.

"No, it _is_ one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

"Yes." I smiled. "But, still, you were there, and I finally felt whole again."

He tilted my face up and kissed my lips. "You love me more than I deserve," he said humbly.

I laughed at the impossibility of that idea, but accepted another kiss before continuing. "Next would be the night after Italy."

"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I had no idea your dreams are so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

"I'm still not sure," I muttered. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality."

Now _he_ laughed, quietly, shaking his head. I thought I heard a noise outside the tent, something like the huffing sound the wolves made sometimes. Edward's eyes flickered in that direction, but otherwise he didn't react, so I didn't worry. Maybe Seth had gotten snow up his nose or something.

"Tell me one of yours now," I requested. "Did I guess your first place?"

"No." His lips met mine, softly. "That would be two nights ago, when - "

Teasingly, I interrupted. "When you finally succumbed to my womanly wiles?" Reaching up, I pressed a kiss on his neck and nestled closer, remembering the intimacy we'd shared, which, while not as much as I'd hoped for, had still been an important milestone in our relationship.

"That's part of it, yes," he murmured, his eyes warm and soft as he looked down. One corner of his mouth curved upward. "I will always remember your gift to me . . . not only the physical part of it - your warmth and softness - but your love and trust as well."

He touched his arctic lips to mine. "But, even more, it was also the night you finally agreed to marry me."

I made a face. Of course _that_ would be the part he treasured. Outside the tent, the silence seemed to deepen, somehow _intensify._

"That doesn't make your list?" He raised an eyebrow.

"That night does, yes. Just not the marrying part. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already have me forever."

He kissed me again. "A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I'll explain it to you."

"I'll remind you to explain – in a hundred years."

"Are you warm enough?" he asked suddenly.

"I'm fine," I assured him, a bit surprised by the question. "Why?"

Before he could answer, the silence outside the tent was ripped apart by an earsplitting howl of pain. The sound ricocheted off the bare rock face of the mountain and filled the air so that it seared from every direction.

The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because I'd never heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once – I recognized the sound and understood the meaning as perfectly as if I'd uttered it myself. It made no difference that Jacob wasn't human when he cried out. I needed no translation.

Jacob hadn't left the site after all. Jacob was close by. Jacob had heard every word we'd said, every kiss we'd exchanged. Jacob was in agony.

The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again. I didn't hear his silent escape, but I could feel it – could feel, now, the absence I had wrongly assumed before, the empty space he left behind.

"Because your space heater has reached his limit," Edward answered quietly. "Truce over," he added, so low I wasn't sure that was really what he'd said.

"Jacob was listening," I whispered. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"You knew."

"Yes."

I stared at nothing, seeing nothing.

"I warned him I wouldn't fight fair," he reminded me quietly. "And he deserves to know."

"But not like this," I whispered. "This was cruel, Edward; how could you do it?"

"Payback," he answered, his eyes and voice tightening. "Last night I had to listen for far too many hours to his very loud thoughts while he lay where I longed to be, holding you in his arms . . . keeping you warm and alive when my embrace would have been your death."

Momentarily distracted, I reached up to touch his face. "You had to know I wished it _was_ you."

He turned his head and kissed my hand. "That was the only thing that kept me sane." He paused, and seemed to brace himself. "Are you angry with me?"

"Not you," I whispered. "I'm angry at _me."_

"_What?"_ He stared, and then frowned. "Bella, you did nothing – it was all my doing. Don't torment yourself."

"Yes," I agreed bitterly. "I should save my energy to torment Jake some more. There must be some small part of him I haven't harmed yet."

"He knew what he was doing, Bella. He made a deliberate choice to stay and listen, knowing that I would know he was there. And nothing we were saying was a real shock to him – until the last part."

The last part – when I'd made that stupid joke about my womanly wiles . . . and Edward talked about my agreement to marry him.

I shook my head. "Do you think that matters?" I was blinking back tears. "Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm _hurting_ him. Every time I turn around, it seems like I'm hurting him again." My voice broke. "I have to go find him."

Edward wrapped his arms tightly around me. "Bella, he's already miles away, and it's still cold out."

I pushed against his arms, and he let them drop. "I don't care. I can't just _sit_ here while he's out there, suffering." I shrugged off Jacob's parka, shoved my feet into my boots, and crawled stiffly to the door; my legs felt numb.

"I have to – I have to. . . ." I didn't know how to finish the sentence, didn't know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door anyway, and climbed out into the bright, icy morning.

There was less snow than I'd expected after the fury of last night's storm. Probably it had blown away, rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast, glancing off the snow that lingered and stabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly becoming more seasonable as the sun rose higher.

Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. He was staring at me with what I imagined was an accusation.

I knew Edward was following me as I stumbled toward the trees. I couldn't hear him, but the sun reflected off his skin in glittering rainbows that danced ahead of me. He didn't try to stop me until I was several paces into the forest shadows.

His hand caught my left wrist. He ignored it when I tried to pull myself free. "You can't go after him – not now. It's almost time, and getting yourself lost wouldn't help him, regardless."

I twisted my wrist, pulling uselessly.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered, his face twisting in anguish. "I'm so sorry I did that."

Two tears trickled down my face. "I did this, Edward, not you. I did everything wrong with him. I could have . . . When he . . . I shouldn't have. . . ." Guilt tightened my throat, made it impossible to speak.

"Bella, Bella." His arms folded around me, and my tears soaked into his shirt. His hands smoothed my hair, and I grew slightly calmer, there in his embrace.

"I should have told him," I whispered into Edward's chest. "I should have said. . . ."

What? What could possibly have made this right? I couldn't think of anything. "He shouldn't have found out like this."

"I'm sorry," he said again, hushed agony in his voice. I felt his cold lips on my head. "Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time."

I nodded, afraid to raise my head and see his face.

"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."

His arms disappeared. He left so quickly that, in the second it took me to look up, he was already gone. I was alone.

A sob broke from my chest. I was hurting him too. I was hurting everyone today.

I didn't know why it was hitting me so hard. It wasn't like I hadn't known all along that this was coming. But Jacob had never before reacted so strongly – lost his bold over-confidence and shown the intensity of his pain. The sound of it still cut at me, somewhere deep in my chest. And right beside it was the other pain. Pain for feeling pain over Jacob. Pain for hurting Edward, too - for not being able to watch Jacob go with composure, knowing that it was the right thing, the only way.

I couldn't allow what hurt _me_ to influence my decisions anymore. It was too little and much too late, but now I had to do what was right. Maybe it was already done for me. Maybe Edward wouldn't be able to bring him back. And then I would accept that and get on with my life. Edward would never see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. There would be no more tears. I wiped the last of them away with cold fingers.

But if Edward did return with Jacob, that was it. I had to tell him I wouldn't see him again.

Why was that so hard? So much more difficult than saying goodbye to my other friends, to Angela, to Mike? Why did that _hurt?_ It shouldn't be able to hurt me like that. I had what I wanted – I had Edward. I couldn't have them both, because Jacob could not be just my friend. It was time to give up wishing for that. Time for me to grow up.

I had to get over this irrational feeling that Jacob belonged in my life. He couldn't belong with me, could not be _my_ Jacob, when I knew with every fiber of my being that I belonged with someone else.

I walked slowly back to the little clearing, my feet dragging. When I broke into the open space, blinking against the sharp light, I threw one quick glance toward Seth – who hadn't moved from his bed of dry pine needles – and then looked away, avoiding his eyes.

I began pacing across the bright little space, feeling Seth's eyes on me the whole time. Because I wouldn't look at him, in my head he became the boy again, rather than the gigantic sandy-colored wolf. So much like a younger, happier Jacob.

Seth whined at that moment, and got to his feet.

"What is it?" I asked him, stupidly.

He ignored me, trotting to the edge of the trees and pointing his nose toward the west. He began whimpering.

"Is it the others, Seth?" I demanded. "In the clearing?"

He looked at me and yelped softly once, and then turned his nose alertly back to the west. His ears laid back and he whined again.

Why was I such a fool? What was I thinking, sending Edward away? How was I supposed to know what was going on? I didn't speak wolf.

A cold trickle of fear began to ooze down my spine. What if the time had run out? What if Jacob and Edward got too close? What if Edward decided to join in the fight?

The icy fear pooled in my stomach. What if Seth's distress had nothing to do with the clearing, and his yelp had been a denial? What if Jacob and Edward were fighting with each other, far away somewhere in the forest? They wouldn't do that, would they?

With sudden, chilling certainty I realized that they would – if the wrong words were said. I thought of the tense standoff in the tent this morning, and I wondered if I'd underestimated how close it had come to a fight.

What if I lost one of them? What if I somehow lost both of them? The ice locked around my heart.

Before I could collapse with terror, Seth grumbled slightly, deep in his chest, and then sauntered back toward his resting place. It calmed me, but also irritated me. Couldn't he scratch a message in the dirt or something?

The pacing – and my nerves - were starting to make me sweat under all my layers. I threw my jacket into the tent, and then went back to wearing a path in front of it.

Seth jumped to his feet again suddenly, the hackles on the back of his neck standing up stiffly. I looked around, but saw nothing. If Seth didn't cut it out, I was going to throw a pinecone at him.

He growled, a low, warning sound, slinking back toward the western rim, and I re-thought my impatience.

"It's just us, Seth," Jacob called from a distance.

My heart kicked into fourth gear when I heard him. It was just fear of what I was going to have to do now, that was all. I could not allow myself to be relieved that he'd come back. That would be the exact opposite of helpful.

Edward walked into view first, his face blank and smooth. Seth went to meet him, looking intently into his eyes. Edward nodded slowly, worry creasing his forehead. He closed his eyes briefly.

"Yes, that's all we need," he muttered to himself before addressing the big wolf. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."

Seth dipped his head once, and I wished I was able to growl. Sure, he could nod _now._ I turned my head, annoyed, and realized that Jacob was there, his back to me, facing the way he'd come. I waited warily for him to turn around.

"Bella," Edward murmured, suddenly right beside me. He stared down at me with nothing but concern showing in his eyes. There was no end to his generosity.

"There's a bit of a complication," he told me, his voice carefully unworried. "I'm going to take Seth a little distance away to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go."

Only at the very end did the pain break into his voice.

I had to never hurt him again. That would be my mission in life. Never again would I be the reason for this look to come into his eyes. I was too upset even to ask him what the new problem was. I didn't need anything else right now.

"Edward," I whispered, then stopped. The things I wanted to say to him – that I loved him and there was no decision to be made here – I couldn't say, because Jacob would be able to hear even the quietest whisper, and I didn't want to add to his pain any sooner than absolutely necessary.

"Hurry back," I told him instead.

He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips, but when he would have straightened up I grabbed his neck, holding him in place, and kissed him back, not lightly. He rested his forehead against mine for a moment, and then left, disappearing into the forest with Seth at his side.

Jacob was still in the shadow of the trees, but he'd turned around to face me. I couldn't see his expression clearly. "I'm in a hurry, Bella," he said in a dull voice. "Why don't you get it over with?"

I swallowed, my throat suddenly so dry I wasn't sure if I could make sound come out.

"Just say the words, and be done with it."

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I've been so selfish," I whispered brokenly. "I wish I'd never met you, so I couldn't hurt you the way I have. I won't do it anymore, I promise. I'll stay far away from you. I'll move out of the state. You won't have to look at me ever again."

"What if I don't want you to go away?" he demanded. "What if I'd rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don't I get any say, if you're trying to make things up to me?"

"That won't help anything, Jake. It was wrong of me to stay with you when we wanted such different things, and it's not going to get better. I'll just keep hurting you. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate it." My voice broke.

He sighed. "Stop. You don't have to say anything else. I understand." He stood quietly for a moment, staring at the ground, and I fought against the urge to go and put my arms around him. To comfort him.

And then his head snapped up. "Well, you're not the only one capable of self-sacrifice," he said, his voice stronger. "Two can play at that game."

"What?"

"I've behaved pretty badly myself, made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the beginning, but I hurt you too. So I can't let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either. I know how to redeem myself."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded. The sudden, frenzied light in his eyes worried me.

He glanced up at the sun and then smiled at me. "There's a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don't think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture."

His words sank into my brain, slowly, one by one. _"What?"_

He shrugged. "This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You won't even have to move."

I doubt that he expected the reaction he got. "So you're, what, going to get yourself conveniently killed in order to clear the way for Edward? Go out in a blaze of glory? Is that it?"

He rocked back on his heels, his eyes wide with shock. I was too furious to care. "How very noble of you! I'm sure that will be a great comfort to Billy and your sisters!" He flinched, but I went on relentlessly, "Not to mention Quil and Embry and the rest of your pack brothers."

His body slumped. He held up one hand. "All right, Bella, you can stop now. You're right. It was a dumb thing to say."

I studied him. There was something about his defeated posture, and the shadow of guilt on his face. . . . Burgeoning suspicion grew to stunned certainty. I stared at him in disbelief.

"You didn't mean a word of it, did you? It was all just a, a _ploy._ What did you think - that I would give Edward up to keep you safe? You must think I'm the world's biggest pushover."

Then I laughed shortly. "Maybe I am. I almost fell for it." Whirling around, I started for the tent.

Jacob sprang after me, catching my arm. "Bells, I'm sorry! It was stupid of me to try that."

I spun around, angry tears in my eyes. _"Stupid?_ For a moment you had me believing you were going to kill yourself! How could you do that to me?" I shoved at him with all my strength, but it barely rocked him.

"Bella, I love you, and I know you love me too. I had to try _something_ to make you see it!" His expression was desperate, pleading.

"I do love you, Jake, though when you pull things like this I wonder why." Calming a little, I laid my hand on his chest, feeling his heat on my palm. "But I don't love you the way you want me to."

He caught my face in his hot hands. "You're wrong, Bella. Please, let me prove it to you." His eyes grew wet. "Let me kiss you again, the right way."

"Jake, it won't change anything," I whispered. "I love Edward; it's always been Edward."

"Just let me try," he whispered in return. "Just one kiss. Please."

There was no way around it; I was going to have to give him definitive proof. "All right, Jacob. Kiss me."

I knew he would take advantage of the situation; I expected it. I stayed very still, my eyes closed and my hands loose at my sides, as his lips found mine with an eagerness not far from violence.

I could feel his anger as his mouth discovered my passive resistance. One hand moved to the nape of my neck, twisting into a fist around the roots of my hair. The other hand grabbed roughly at my shoulder, shaking me, then dragging me to him. His hand continued down my arm, finding my wrist and pulling my arm up around his neck.

I hesitated, unsure how far I should go in my willingness to show him he was wrong, but ultimately left it there. All the while his lips, disconcertingly soft and warm, so different from what I was used to, tried to force a response out of mine.

As soon as he was sure I wouldn't drop my arm, he freed my wrist, his hand feeling its way down to my waist. His burning hand found the skin at the small of my back, and he yanked me forward, bowing my body against his.

His lips gave up on mine for a moment, but I knew he was nowhere close to finished. His mouth followed the line of my jaw, and then explored the length of my neck. He reached for my other arm to draw it around his neck like the first.

Then both of his arms were constricted around my waist, and his lips found my ear. "You can do better than this, Bella," he whispered huskily. "You're overthinking it. Just relax."

His teeth grazed my earlobe, and I shivered involuntarily.

"That's right," he murmured, pulling the lobe between his warm lips. "For once, just let yourself feel what you feel." And he brought his mouth back to mine, softly this time, gently, coaxing rather than trying to force a reaction.

The sweetness of his kiss took me by surprise, and unraveled my self-control. My brain disconnected from my body and I was kissing him back. With a wild gasp of joy, Jacob deepened the kiss, his fingers clutching frantically against the skin at my waist.

And against all reason, my lips were moving with his in ways that would have been strange to me before that night in Edward's bedroom – before I stopped having to be so careful with him. Because I didn't need to be careful with Jacob - and Jacob certainly wasn't being careful with me.

The tiny piece of my brain that retained sanity screamed questions at me. Why wasn't I stopping this? What did it mean that I didn't _want_ him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong?

The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd been lying to myself.

Jacob had been right all along – and at the same time, wrong. He _was_ more than just my friend. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye. But he was also wrong. Yes, I loved him more than I'd let myself realize, more than I should, yet it was still nowhere near enough.

I loved him - but it was still only a fraction of the all-encompassing emotion I felt for Edward. It was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt him worse than I ever had before.

For one brief, endless second, an entirely different future expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes – the future that might have been, if Edward hadn't come back into my life.

I could see Charlie and Renee mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me, changing everybody. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him.

And for the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them.

And then, quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as that smaller part detached itself from the whole.

Jacob's lips stilled. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with wonder and elation. "I have to leave," he whispered.

"Jacob – " _Wait,_ I wanted to say, _it's not what you think._

But he interrupted me. "I won't be long," he promised. "But one thing first . . ." He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point?

This time his hands were as gentle on my face as his warm lips were on mine. It was brief and very, very sweet. His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.

"_That_ should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."

Against his chest, where he couldn't see, my eyes squeezed tight. "Jake, no," I whispered, but he paid no attention.

With another hug, he turned and loped into the forest, calling cheerfully over his shoulder, "I'll be right back" – already quivering as he prepared to shift to his other self. He vanished from my sight, leaving me standing in the campsite, alone.

A few minutes later Edward appeared at the edge of the forest, Seth a few paces behind him. He walked slowly up to me, taking in my wet eyes, my crossed arms, and bowed shoulders. "Are you all right?" he murmured, his voice anxious. Seth settled himself in his usual spot.

"No," I said, and burrowed against him. His arms automatically came around me, then he seemed to brace himself.

"What happened?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Jacob . . . we . . . he misunderstood . . . not that I blame him . . . he wouldn't listen. . . ." I was not making sense, I knew, but I couldn't bring myself to explain more clearly.

Edward was silent for a long moment. "Oh," he finally said. I peeked up at him and, sure enough, his eyes were unfocused as he listened to something I'd never wanted him to hear. With a groan, I hid my face in his chest again.

So it stunned me when Edward chuckled reluctantly. "And I thought _I_ fought dirty," he said with grudging admiration. "He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics."

His hand brushed my cheek. "I'm not mad at you, love. Jacob's more cunning than I gave him credit for. Actually, I'm quite impressed that you stood up to him, even before you realized the truth of his deception. I do wish you hadn't given him permission to kiss you, though."

My eyes filled. "Edward, I – "

"Shh," he hushed me, his fingers soothing against my cheek. "He was going to kiss you anyway. I only meant that now I don't have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too."

He gently wiped my tears away. "But points to you for seeing through him, Bella. You're such a bad liar yourself, you'll usually believe anyone who has the least bit of skill."

"Why aren't you angry with me?" I asked, my voice low. "Or haven't you heard the whole story yet?"

"I think I got a fairly comprehensive look," he said in a light, easy voice. "Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting quite nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I knew what he was trying to do, and I wouldn't let him.

"You're only human," he whispered, stroking my hair again.

"What kind of miserable excuse is that?"

"But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might pretend otherwise, so is he. There are holes in your life that I can't fill. I understand that."

"That's not true," I stated flatly, leaning back to look him in the eye. "The only hole in my life was filled when I found you again, in Volterra."

"You love him," he murmured gently.

My lips trembled. Every cell in my body ached to deny it. "I love you more." It was the best I could do.

He kissed me softly. "Yes, I know that, too. But . . . when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark, on both of you. I'm not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can hardly blame either of you for something that I made necessary."

"I should have known you'd find some way to blame yourself," I sighed. "Please stop. I can't stand it."

"What would you like me to say?"

I rested my head on his chest. "I want you to call me every bad name you can think of. I want you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave, so I can grovel and beg you to stay."

He laughed a little. "I'm sorry, love. I can't do any of that."

"Of course not," I grumbled.

He was silent, and I sensed a new urgency in the atmosphere. "It's getting close," I stated.

"Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing. . . ."

He stopped. I eyed him suspiciously; that look on his face was all too familiar. When he started to speak again, I put my finger over his lips. "Don't."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"Don't you dare go all noble on me and offer to step aside, or something equally stupid." I was - not _glaring_ at him exactly, more – looking at him firmly. _Very_ firmly.

After a moment, his lips twitched. "I wouldn't think of it."

"Good." I rose on my toes and curved my arms around his neck. "I know that I stink like a dog, so maybe you better hold your breath." I didn't wait for a reply, but pressed my mouth to his snow-cold lips.

We kissed for a long moment, his arms holding me tight against him. When we finally broke apart, Edward pulled me closer for a quick, tight hug, then he released me.

"It's beginning," he murmured. "Shall we go into the tent? You'll be more comfortable there."

As he spoke, Seth howled stridently. My body stiffened to the sound. I didn't realize my left hand was clenched into a fist, nails biting into my bandaged palm, until Edward took it and gently smoothed my fingers out.

"It's going to be fine, Bella," he promised, holding open the tent flap for me. "We've got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn't truly believe that, I would be down there now – and you'd be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines."

I settled myself as comfortably as I could, using the sleeping bag as a cushion to sit on, and resting in the cradle of Edward's arms.

"Alice is so small," I whispered.

He chuckled. "That might be a problem – if it were possible for someone to catch her."

Seth started to whimper.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, tensing.

"He's just angry that he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect him. He's salivating to join them."

I scowled in Seth's general direction. Stupid Y-chromosome. Jaw clenched tightly, I waited for the battle to begin.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**A/N: I debated toning down Bella's reaction to Jacob's kiss even more, but decided that would be changing her character too much. So I settled for having her see through Jacob's manipulative behavior. **


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